Didn't Fall Out of Tree, This How To Video Could Save Your Shoulder

Christmas is two short weeks away.  ARE YOU READY!?  I am about done with my list and am working on my two final giftees: My nieces.  Allison is 5 and Sarah is 2.  The issue here is they have everything.  I do not mean they have everything they need.  That would imply they do not go without food and warm boots, which they do not.  But they also have everything they want!  Unless of course you consider an ipad a necessity.  If that is the case then you live with my sister on Planet Silliness in the Obscene Consumerism System.

The list I received for the girls is as follows:
Allison: Markers, plain white paper, every Barbie in the world and the Barbie Dream House.
Sarah: A digger, a horse, a unicorn and crayons and the Barbie Dream House.

Looking at my budget, which does not include horses, mythical horse-like creatures or anything Mattel calls a "dream" anything, it looks like Office Depot is the big winner when I go shopping this week.

"What does any of this have to do with shoulder, or fitness, or anything," you might ask?  I will tell you.  Today I am giving you, the reader, an early Christmas present!  I have produced a Jerry Bruckheimer-quality video so stunning and engrossing you will be riveted to your screen for at least 20 seconds.  The video contains stretches AND exercises for that non-falling-out-of-a-tree-related shoulder injury!  The stretches are as described in the "Falling out of the Tree..." post and the video has the added Straight Arm on the Ball bonus stretch because I forgot to ask the girls to do the "Straight Arm on the Wall Stretch."  The three exercises with the bands are great for strengthening the rotator cuff.

Thank you again to our excellent demonstrator Courtney and the newest addition to our demo team Megan!  They both play volleyball for the Niwot High School Cougars in Longmont, Colorado.

Please, as always, post or email tom@canyonptandf.com with questions or comments.  Now that I have more or less figured out how to create a video, look for more video blogs and be sure to visit us at www.canyonptandf.com.

Stretch your hips for you back demo photos/ Thanksgiving Edition

Happy Thanksgiving all.  I hope you are all preparing for or are recently recovering from eating obscene amounts of food.

"What the hell is wrong with you!?"

You might ask.  And I would reply, "There are many things wrong with me.  To what specifically are  you referring?"

And you would respond in a very judging tone, "How dare you encourage people to eat too much on Thanksgiving!  You are a horrible example!"

And I would say, slightly offended but mostly skeptically, "Look, one day out of the year someone, perhaps even yourself, goes through the trouble of getting up at the crack of dawn to roast a turkey, makes homemade everything from stuffing to potatoes to delicious vegetable casserole to an average of 3 - 4 pies per U.S. capita.  FOR THE LOVE OF GOD EAT IT!!  Be good the rest of the year.  Seriously, I dare you."

Anyway, once you are done stuffing your face with reckless abandon take a look at photos, as promised, for stretching your hips and strengthening your glutes for helping with low back pain:

Static Hip Stretch

This is another look at the static hip stretch as seen in the previous post.  Next we have a variation with a twist which gives the slightly more flexible individual a better stretch:

Static Hip with Rotation

And finally we have the starting position for glute strengthening.  Remember, 15 forward, 15 backward and 15 up and down.

Hip Circles

Thank you to Courtney for your help with photos and please "Plus 1," Forward or Comment to let her know we appreciate her work.  If you need additional information please visit www.canyonptandf.com or e mail me at tom@canyonptandf.com

Next week I will post the photos for the Knee Exercises Even You Can Do.  Until then, give these a try!  Oh and I highly encourage you to count and record your calories during Thanksgiving din...  Haha who am I kidding!  Happy Thanksgiving!

What to do for the non-falling out of a tree related shoulder pain.

Today we conclude our body part series with shoulders!  I want to start with yet another disclaimer.  If you fall out of a tree and land on your shoulder, seek medical attention immediately.  You should also seriously re-evaluate your choice of hobbies.  Why exactly were you climbing a tree?  Were the authorities in anyway involved?  Is there a pending restraining order?

But if you wake up one day and you feel a little discomfort in that shoulder or if you are getting a little discomfort doing pushing exercises I recommend a little light stretching before you commit to visiting the doctor's office.  Again, by way of disclaimer, if after 2 to 3 weeks you do not see significant improvement it is time to go see the doc.

Each of these four stretches is going to have a dynamic (moving) and static (not moving) component to it.  There will be a 5 count and then a 20 second hold:

1. Straight Arm Against Wall: Find a corner of a building, preferably one you belong in, and hold your arm straight out, even with the shoulder.  Place your hand on the wall and rotate your body so you feel a stretch in your chest.  Stretch and release, stretch and release 5 times and then hold for 20 seconds.
2. Bent Arm Against Wall: This is essentially the same stretch only you will bend your elbow 90 degrees so your fingers are pointing up.  Place your entire forearm (or as my friend Claire calls it the "forceps.") on the wall and do the same stretching technique as the the straight arm.
3. Arms Overhead: Reach your arms up overhead with fingers pointing toward the ceiling.  Shifting the shoulder upward, reach and relax, reach and relax, 5 times plus 20 seconds.
4. Hands Behind the Back: With straight arms, interlace your fingers behind your back.  Without bending at the torso, bring your arms away from your body and let them come back.  This is also done 5 times plus 20.

Do this every day for a couple weeks and see what happens.  If your shoulders start to feel better, you were successful and it was all a result of my help and you should probably send me a large cash donation.  If it did not help it was probably because you did not follow instructions properly but you should still send a large cash donation.  Oh and make an appointment to see an actual physician.

I discovered this week writing these descriptions is pretty challenging!  I imagine reading them has been equally challenging.  So starting next week in celebration of Thanksgiving I will GIVE you pictures and maybe even some video of all the exercises from our body part series if I can talk someone, Courtney, in to doing them for me.  

For more information or vague exercise descriptions visit www.canyonptandf.com or message me at tom@canyonptandf.com.

Two Tricks for Knee Pain Even You Can do at Home

Somewhat to my surprise the two articles on sore backs seem to be quite popular, whereas my riveting article on caffeinated underwear received little or no attention at all.   Based on my experience with the general public I assumed it was far more interested in underwear than lower backs, but, the people have spoken!

Today, therefore, I will continue my body part series.  Today's featured body part is the knee.  Before I go any farther let me clarify a couple things.  First, if you have suffered an acute knee injury, such as a falling on a slippery driveway your neighbor's child never got around to shoveling, or being hit repeatedly by a baseball bat in the side of leg you should seek immediate medical attention.  The tips I am sharing are for knee discomfort of the "CRAP!  Why is my knee sore today!?" variety.  So before you read on, please get a feel for in to which category you might fall.

One of the most common complaints I hear is "As I am getting older my knees feels 'loose' or 'unstable.'"  My first recommendation is try standing on one foot for about 30 seconds, 2 to three times, three times a week.  If that is too easy, get a foam pad, balance disk or BOSU and stand on it on one foot.  Being on one leg requires the muscles of the leg to stabilize the ankle and the knee and the more they have to do it, the more they remember how to do it.  After a few weeks, you should start to feel a difference!

Another complaint I hear is "I have this pain at the lower portion and to the outside of my knee-cap."  Often this pain is caused by a too tight IT band.  The Iliotibial (IT) band is a thick band of fibers that begins at the pelvis and runs down the outside of the thigh where it attaches at the tibia, or shin bone.  Although it is not technically a muscle, the IT band still does get tight especially for people who tend to run a lot.  My recommendation is to buy a foam roller and use it on the IT Band like the incredibly buff cartoon character in this example:

It will result in, just so you understand, a new kind of wholly unpleasant variety of pain.   BUT!  If you are consistent and do it correctly over time the pain will diminish in both your IT Band and your knee, so it is probably worth it.

Let me know how these two ideas work for you or if you have other knee related questions please comment below or e mail me at: tom@canyonptandf.com.  See you next week for our next featured body part and don't forget to visit www.canyonptandf.com to drive up web traffic and our Google rating!

Lower Back Pain, Try Stretching Your Hips, Part 2

I have not gotten any younger this week.  Although by back is doing much better, it is still giving me little reminders from time to time it is still there.  So I stretch my hips and it feels better. And then I go on with my day, and the next day I stretch my hips, and it feels better.  However, I feel like I have hit sort of a lower-back-pain plateau here.  So I decided to again be proactive and add strengthening to stretching.

In order to maintain muscle balance one must stretch the tight muscle and strengthen the opposing weak muscle.  In my case the hip flexors are the tight muscles and the Glutes are the weak muscles.  And to be honest, after looking at myself in the mirror, I can see no reasonable person will claim my glutes are too strong.  Or big, Or really even there at all.  They need some work.

Unfortunately I, like most folks, am Quadriceps dominant.  What that means is whenever I do a lower-body exercise (Squat, Lunge, Squatting Lunge, Lunging Squat, etc.) my Quads immediately take over so my Glutes can sit back and enjoy the ride.  So job one is to teach those Glutes how to work again.  I followed these simple steps and BELIEVE me, I could tell they were working:

1. Lay on your side with the bottom leg bent so a 90-degree angle is formed at the hip and at the knee.
2. Hold your top leg straight with your foot flexed and rotated in so the toes point down at about a 45-degree angle,  
3. Make medium sized circles with your leg, 15 forward and 15 backward, and then raise the leg straight up and down 15 times all without resting the leg.  
4. Repeat for the other side.

If you are doing it correctly you will immediately feel it in your Glutes.  After a few days of teaching those guys how to work, start working on squats.  With a flat back, drop into a good squat, SQUEEZE your butt, and come back up.  It is different for each person, but after a while those glutes should start firing with every squatting motion you make and HOORAY! you have achieved (better) balance.

I encourage you to give it a try yourself, and let me know how it works.  You can either comment here on the blog or e-mail me at tom@canyonptandf.com.  And because blogs with photos seem to get more attention I have, for your enjoyment, included a picture of my research assistant Matilda's favorite toy, "The Ferret!"  Enjoy!

Lower Back Pain? Try Stretching Your Hips...?

It was recently brought to my attention I am old.  Not just older, but old.  I thought that was a little unfair until I realized I was hobbling around like an old man this morning.  My back was sore!  And it's not like I was squatting 405lbs yesterday and had a good excuse,  I just woke up this morning with a sore back!  Coming on the heels of being accused of being old, I was kind of pissed.

So I stretched out my back.  Nothing.  I waited a little bit.  Stretched again.  Nothing.  That did not improve my mood.  It made no sense.  I have been doing more or less the same fitness program for the last 3 weeks: Run 3.5 miles one day, lift the next, 6 days a week.  Then it occurred to me, in addition to my workouts I spent 3 hours driving Wednesday which I almost never do.  I then spent 5 hours doing research, in a library, in a chair.  I was inactive for 8 hours.  Something I NEVER do.

My hip flexor muscles were in a contracted position for 8 hours Wednesday and as a result were tight.  This likely caused, unbeknownst to me, a greater than normal anterior pelvic tilt.  The front of my pelvis was being pulled down by the tight hip flexors, which caused the back of my pelvis to rise up.  The anterior pelvic tilt likely caused a greater than normal curve in my lower spine which put my spine is a compromising position.  So what did I do?  I ran on it Wednesday afternoon, lifted yesterday and, Tada!  Sore back today!

Once I realized the potential problem I was able to treat the problem instead of the symptom.  Problem: Tight hip flexor muscles.  Symptom: Sore back.  I started stretching my hip flexors and what I can tell you is that even if they were not causing the low back pain, they were damn tight!  Stretching them was so uncomfortable I almost forgot about my back.  And, as it turns out, it work!  After only 2 minutes of hip flexor stretching the back pain was reduced by, I would say, at least 50%.  Below are the basic and, lets say, slightly more advanced versions of what I did to stretch my hip flexors:

So the next time you are feeling low back pain, and assuming you have no history of major back injury, give this a shot!  For more common sense solutions to common problems, visit www.canyonptandf.com and see how you can FEEL SUPER today!

Get me my tattered sheet! I am Batman!

I discovered a disturbing new "fitness" trend: Fitness programs for the under 12 demographic.  Now let me be clear, I think kids should exercise.  I think they should maintain a healthy weight.  And I think creating a fitness program for them is pure insanity.

Having a structured fitness program for a five-year old is, to me, kind of like having a fitness program for my research assistant, Matilda.  For those who do not know, Matilda is s 2-year-old German Sheppard mixed with... stuff.  She is in great shape!  How, might you ask, does she do this?  I will tell you!  Although this is based purely on personal observations I have made during the last couple hours, I can comfortably clam Matilda lives to play.  She will play with anything at any time.  She plays with squirrels (admittedly I do not think the squirrels see the fun in sprinting across the yard fearing for their lives but that's their loss), she plays with bones, she plays with stuffed objects, some of which squeek, some of which do not, she plays with me, with other dogs, she plays with EVERYTHING.  The only time she does not play is when I force her to lay on her pillow while I work, waiting to play.  The closest thing she has to a structured workout is her evening walk but because I dictate the pace it probably is not much harder than waiting to play.

"What in the world does that have to do with a five-year-old," do you ask?

Again skipping the scientific research, I have determined, based on my own childhood memories, kids love to play!  When I was 5 I needed an old sheet and a stocking cap and I was Batman!  As Batman I would tear around the backyard fighting crime (Our backyard was a cesspool of crime) with a Batarang which looked remarkably like a broken Frisbee.  No one was yelling at me to do one more rep, no one was coming up with creative workouts or checking my form.  Crime did not sleep in St Paul so Batman was constantly on the move.  My mother did occasionally point out particularly heinous crimes which had to be stopped immediately,  Most of those happened during the winter months in very deep snow.

My point is with a little encouragement kids tend to find their own paths to fitness. The rest is just a gimmick.  Get them away from the televisions and tablets, send them outside and let them work their magic.  You too probably remember days from your childhood when you let your imaginations run wild and came home exhausted at the end of a long day of crimefighting.

For more information on fighting crime in my backyard, programs to kickstart YOUR fitness program or ways to avoid trending gimmicks, visit www.canyonptandf.com  And remember to always be yourself, unless you can be Batman.  Then ALWAYS be Batman.

Skip the Coffee and Eat My Shorts

I bet you have been thinking, if only there were a way to combine the convenience of wearing stylish undergarments with the power of high-octane coffee.  Well ladies, your wait is over!  I present to you, and I swear I am not making this up, caffeinated underwear!  According to an article at designtrend.com there is not one, but TWO companies selling these miracles of modern science.

Norm Thompson Outfitters is known, according to their website, as "the escape from the ordinary."  They sell a wide variety of women's apparel and accessories including "The Slimming Body Shaper."

This may look like an ordinary piece of apparel but it is most definitely the escape from ordinary.  According to the website this seemingly innocent piece of clothing is "infused with natural ingredients (caffeine and botanicals)." and is good for up to 30 washings.  The natural question is WHY??  So in an effort to inform you, the consumer, I contacted the company via live chat and asked that exact same questions.

Their response was, get ready, they DON'T KNOW.  Okay, that is not totally accurate.  They do know the "botanicals" are supposed to hydrate the wearer's body.  They also know the caffeine is supposed to "mobilize and decrease fat cells."  The all-important part, the part they do not seem to have an answer for is how this works.  I asked if perhaps the caffeine was absorbed somehow through the skin.  The answer, "Yes."  Well yes, that does clear things up.  Click here for the actual transcript.

The next question that presents itself is: How has the beer industry not jumped all over this?!  How do we not have Anheuser-Busch Briefs?  or Coors Light Longjohns?   Just THINK about the possibilities!

"Tired of paying those outrageous beer prices at the ball game?  Don't want the boss to smell alcohol on your breath?  Introducing Bud Light Boxers!  That's right, just slip them on in the morning and you get a steady stream of quality beer delivered directly to your bloodstream all day long!  No more long lines at the concession stands.  Keep a steady buzz all day long without unnecessary trips to the restroom.  Try Bud Light Boxers today!"

Look, the bottom line is, they do not work.  In fact, the manufacturers just lost a fairly pricey law-suit.   One of our "Member Bill of Rights" at Cayon Personal Training is "Even though you may not like all the answers to your questions, the answers will be honest."  In other words, there is no magic underwear which will mobilize fat.  The only way to mobilize fat is to mobilize you!

More questions you would like actual honest answers to?  Contact tom@canyonptandf.com and leave the caffeine to the coffee.

Domestic Violence in the NFL and Other Sports: Who's Fault is it Really, and What Can We Do to Prevent It?

As a newly appointed boys soccer coach, I feel a responsibility to take a day to discuss a very serious issue.  Recently it seems we cannot go a week without hearing about a high-profile athlete committing an act of domestic violence.  Although the attention is centered around the NFL, it should not be forgotten Oscar Pistorius, an Olympic Runner, has also been found guilty of killing his girlfriend.  It seems a lot of blame has been laid upon the National Football League, but as we can see, this problem transcends sports.  So who do we blame, and more importantly, how do we put a stop to it?

I think there is only one person to blame, and that is the athlete himself.  It might be in the best interest of the various sports leagues to have a domestic violence awareness program or to have very harsh penalties for domestic violence, but it is up to the individual to know right from wrong.  It is up to the athlete to know he cannot, under any circumstance, hit a woman or child.  It is called personal responsibility. Athletes need to stop blaming society, or violent tendencies encouraged by a sport or parents or whoever happens to be a convenient target.  They need to step up and say, "I am an adult with an adult job and adult responsibilities and I am going to conduct myself as such."  

Now the more important question, in my opinion, is how do we stop this trend of athletes committing acts of domestic violence?  Ultimately, unfortunately, we can probably never put a complete stop to it.  Even in the most honorable professions there are always a few bad actors who slip through.  However, I think coaches have a golden opportunity to prevent it from becoming worse and even reduce the number of incidents for future generations by holding athletes accountable for their actions at an early age and impressing upon them domestic violence is unacceptable under any circumstance.

I have seen great coaches do dumb things in the name of "giving a kid a second chance" or to"avoid ruining his career."  If a boy commits a petty crime or breaks the rules he must be punished appropriately.  If a coach makes the problem "go away" all he is telling this boy is that as long as he performs on the playing field someone will clean up his messes.  Today it is underage drinking or vandalizing a neighbor's house, tomorrow it is burglary, and so on.  As he moves up the ranks in his sport the crimes get more severe and still nothing happens outside a slap on the wrist.  Coaches must stop protecting these boys and do for them what is in their best interest long term: hold them accountable for their actions today so they hold themselves accountable tomorrow.

For many boys their coach is the only positive male role model in their lives.  And even if there are other role models, athletes are conditioned to listen to their coach's message, often times even if they conflict with messages at home.  Coaches need to use this power to send the right message.  I have already taken time during practice to explain the dangers and sheer stupidity of an athlete using drugs or alcohol.  I used one of my most powerful tools: I told the boys the quickest way to lose my respect is to use drugs or alcohol, and there is no place for someone like that on my team.  You should have sat in on that meeting.  I had their complete and undivided attention.  Might one of those kids still screw up?  Yep, he might.  But the expectation and the consequences have been made clear.  Domestic violence is next on the agenda.

I cannot ever foresee a day when we end domestic violence in the sporting world or anywhere else, for that matter.  Some people just do bad things.  But that should not keep us from trying.  Coaches need to use their influence and act early to impress upon boys there are consequences for actions and domestic violence is totally unacceptable. Today's responsible boys build tomorrow's great men. 

Tom Dueber is the owner of Canyon Personal Training and Fitness, a boys soccer coach at Longmont High School, Longmont, Colorado, and an expert at making fitness fun, which it will be again next week, we promise!

The Super Secret Secrets to Losing Weight

That's right ladies and gentlemen, I am willing to risk being taken out to a field and beaten by groups of rogue dieticians and scientists to give you the secret formula to six-pack abs.  Why, might you ask would I do this?  Well, unlike all the other health and wellness professionals in the world who are worried only about large wads of money, I actually care about you, the individual reading my blog, who I have never met.  So are you ready?  Here goes!

The secret to losing weight is: MOVE MORE.  Look, there is no super-weight-loss food, or supplement or system.  By way of example let's look at the Ancient Romans.  To put this in historical context the Romans predate organic vegetables, personal trainers, insanely expensive workout DVD's and even Jane Fonda by a couple years.  In ancient Rome you had basically three types of people:  The mega wealthy, the soldiers, and the slaves/ gladiators.  The mega wealthy spent most of their time sitting around eating, making laws, ordering executions and generally telling other people what to do.  They, SURPRISE, tended to be overweight.

The soldiers spent most of their time running around Europe occupying villages and terrorizing the locals.  I'm not sure if you realize it but Europe is a big place!  Just walking from Rome to say, France can be a pretty good workout.  And if you have to stop a few times along the way to pillage or fight a major military conflict with swords and axes we are talking about full scale workouts! As you can see, soldiering took a tremendous amount of energy and thus these people tended to look remarkably like Russell Crowe.

The slaves and gladiators did, well,  pretty much everything else.  They looked like slightly more aggressive versions of Russell Crowe.

The point here is, historically and, believe it or not it still holds true, people who move more tend to have less body fat.  Now I am not endorsing conquering Europe as a plan for weight loss.  What I am  suggesting is, if you wish to lose weight, MOVE!  And because most Roman Centurion Commanders have gone in to retirement, this is where a personal trainer might come in handy.   He or she will give you ways to move which fit your lifestyle.  If wielding a battle axe is not your style, maybe a program to start jogging or hiking is more your speed.

For more information on getting started on a fitness program that fits you, please visit www.canyonptandf.com or email info@canyonptandf.com.  We can design a program that fits your lifestyle, goals and abilities.  Hope to see you soon and "Strength and Honor!"

Why My Dog is the World's Best Personal Trainer

There is, SURPRISE, a new fitness trend.  Honestly is seems like every time I turn around there is a new fitness trend.  One week it is workout with light weight, the next week it is heavy weight, then no weight and loud music, then no weight and no music but the room temperature must approximate hell, then heavy weight, thrown at your friend, who must catch it , throw it back, do 7 Burpies, complete a reverse back handspring, cut off an ear and recite the first 5 lines of the Communist Manifesto in Latin before again catching it, or as most people call it, CrossFit.

But this new fitness trend may be the most revolutionary idea yet.  It is guaranteed to work for people of all ages and ability levels.  It may just be the perfect form of working out.  Are you ready for this?  Are you sure?  Okay, introducing: Walking the Dog!  "Wait," you say.  "That is not new nor revolutionary!"  How wrong you are.   According to BostInno, K-9 Fit Club offers a revolutionary new class where "both you and Fido can improve your health."

Okay, so there is nothing new about exercising with a dog.  As with most "New and Exciting Fitness Trends" the only thing new is the name or the snappy television commercial.  As I was about to dismiss this "fitness trend" as more of the same it occurred to me that not only is this not a new idea, dogs are very possibly the original, and world's best, personal trainer.  Let's use my research assistant Matilda as an example.

She is a Great Motivator: From the moment she wakes up to the moment she falls asleep Matilda encourages me to work out.  She stands by the door, stares at her leash, headbuts my hands, bounces around making a sound that sounds distinctly like "Can we PLEEEEEEEEEEASE go for a run?"  and brings me ropes or balls or other objects until I either have to kill her or go exercise.   And since killing your research assistant is frowned upon in the Lower 48, exercise it is!

She Encourages Me to Eat Better: When I am eating something delicious, or by definition, unhealthy, Matilda stares daggers at me until I am overcome by guilt and give the remainder to her.  By contrast, if I am eating something healthy such as fruit, vegetables, baked meat or NOT delicious items, she is nowhere to be found and I end up eating the whole thing.

She Lives the Lifestyle: Matilda eats many small meals a day, eats essentially the same higher protein diet for every meal, exercises, well, all the time, drinks plenty of water, avoids caffeine, soda, and alcohol and takes two or three naps every day.  Although we would be, as a society, massively non-productive, if we all lived this lifestyle I suspect we would all be incredibly healthy!

She Loves Her Work: Matilda is one of the fortunate few who loves her job.  She comes to work at Canyon every day with, literally, unbridled enthusiasm.  She greets every member at the door like they were long lost friends, helps clients get through workouts, has giant ears for listening to member concerns and entertains guest dogs when they come to visit.

So if you are looking for a fun, new, fitness "trend," look no farther than Matilda at Canyon Personal Training and Fitness.  Or you can always visit her Facebook page at www.facebook.com/matilda.dueber.  And if you have a personal training story like Matilda's please share it with me here or at canyonptandf.com.  Okay gotta go!  According to the cold nose on my leg it is time for my run!

Jillian Michaels might be stalking me.

Fitness personality Jillian Michaels is extremely concerned about my workout pants.  And according to an article in "Racked" she "knows I am paying too much" for them.  You can imagine my surprise.  Before today I did not realize Jillian even knew I existed, and to discover she is taking an active interest in my wardrobe actually concerns me.  How did Jillian come by this information?  How are my pants any of her business?  Does this meet the legal definition for stalking?

This does bring up an interesting point about workout attire, though.  There are clearly two competing views about workout attire:

View 1: Workout clothing is something guaranteed to get sweaty and dirty because I... workout in it.  There is almost no scenario where my workout shirts will not have large circles of sweat in the armpit region.  Even on a light day there will be the tell-tale "Triangle of Perspiration" on the back of my shorts.  I therefore, knowing I will sweat, wear primarily old t-shirts and shorts I find on the sale rack at a major retailer.  I wear this clothing almost exclusively to the gym, while riding a bicycle or while running around the neighborhood.  I am sweaty and gross.  If I get close enough to another human for them to notice my wardrobe they are almost always distracted by the "odor of success" emanating from every pore of my body.  They are not evaluating my clothing choices they distancing themselves from me as quickly as possible!  I feel View 1 has a certain amount of logic.

View2: Workout clothing is something for which I pay obscene amounts of money and wear everywhere except the gym so people can see how firm my butt looks while I shop for Hamburger Helper.  An alarming number of people have started to adopting View 2.  I will be at Safeway trying to determine if produce is organic or inorganic when a seemingly normal, slightly overweight lady in her 50's will walk by wearing black skin-tight stretchy pants, a tank top and her hair tied up in a "pony."  She appears as though at any moment she will grab a bag of bulk rice and perform 3 sets of 12 power cleans.  She appears this way until you realize she spent approximately 4 hours perfecting her make-up application.  Not only did she not just come from a workout, there is absolutely no danger she will workout in the near future.  I fail to see any logic with this view.

Here is where view two backfires. If you are prone to spontaneously performing acts of exercise and fitness throughout the day regardless of how appropriate the setting, your body should reflect this habit.  You should have rock-hard abs, definition in every part of your arms, 4 obvious muscles making up your quadriceps, and calves for which Marilyn Monroe would kill her neighbor.  Unfortunately this only occurs when you actually workout all the time, not just because you wear workout clothing all the time.  You instead tend to be betrayed by irregular shapes in your lower extremities, semi-tubular arms and a soft, protective coating around your abs.

So how, exactly, do we stop this?  I say we start a movement!  We ask all retailers, restaurants, or other places of public gathering to implement the "Fitness Alarm!"  At regular intervals the "Fitness Alarm" would sound.  Trained "Fitness Officials" would lunge out of the shadows and compel anyone wearing fitness attire to perform an actual act of fitness!  People would be standing in the baked goods isle, wearing their spandex, when the alarm sounds!  From out of nowhere large, stern officials insist people begin "FIFTEEN BURPIES!"  Startled "View Twoers" would immediately launch into fits of exercise.  The rest of us, of course, will enjoy a hardy laugh and take all the good donuts.

So Jillian, if you are listening (and somehow I suspect you are) we need your help.  We need your pseudo-celebrity status to get alarms set up everywhere.  We need you to get the word out for our movement.  We need you to focus on something other than my pants!  For more great ideas for spontaneous and other fitness tips visit www.canyonptandf.com today!

From Football Player to Football (Soccer) Coach, Naturally.

Good news!  I am officially an assistant high school soccer coach!  Well good news until you find out the sum total of my soccer knowledge can fit into a crayon box.  And I do not mean the awesome 128 color box coveted by 2nd graders worldwide.  No, I mean the free kind you get at a mid-level family restaurant as part of the child distraction package.  Here is what I know about soccer:

• Kick the ball in to the other team's goal.
• Keep the other team from putting the ball in your goal.
• You do not want to be offsides but no-one actually knows what that means.
• The referee randomly blows the whistle, holds up his hand, and gives the ball to the player with the best hairstyle, causing the opposing coach to shout "Sir!  Sir!  What was the call Sir!" no less than 15 times.
• The clock runs the wrong way.

What I do know, is football.  American football.  The kind with predetermined commercial breaks.  And I also know these two sports have almost NOTHING in common.  But it would appear I am not the first person to actually make the transition from football to... football.  There are apparently so many people making the switch, in fact, the good folks at NBC Sports have crafted an instructional video to make the move as easy as possible.  Many of you have seen this video so you know I am not making it up.  For those of you who have not, here is the actual link:

Transition from football to football

A great example where the video clarified a finer point of the sport:  I was extremely confused when people kept yelling "Good Tackle!" during practice.  Now I know a player is not allowed (unfortunately)  to violently throw another player to the ground during a soccer game.  But CLEARLY something or someone was being tackled.  Imagine my surprise when, while watching the video, I found out a tackle is simply kicking the ball away from another player.  So the next day at practice I asked one of my players, "Wait, so a tackle is stealing the ball?"

Rolling his eyes, "Yes Coach"

"Why don't they call it a steal!?  Or a Turnover?"

"I don't know coach."

This is typically how our conversations go during practice.  I ask a seemingly intelligent question, "Who determines when and where the goalie can use his hands?" and any number of players roll their eyes and answer,

"I don't know coach."

So if you want to have a hardy laugh at my expense and see a very talented and hard working group of young men I encourage you to come out and support the Longmont High School Boys Soccer Program.  The schedule is at www.trojanathletics.org.  And please check out www.canyonptandf.com because I put a bunch of really cool photos up on our "Member Stories" page.  Go Trojans!

It's Easy to Lose Weight Doncha Know?

Finally!  From the nutrition experts who bring you large meatballs, lingonberries, open-faced hard boiled egg sandwiches covered with, you betcha, cod roe caviar from a TUBE and crowd favorite Lutefisk, let me present the NORDIC DIET!

That's right, Scandinavia is no longer just a place from which impossible to assemble mid-range furniture comes.  According to an article written by Gina Flaxman in the world renowned publication news.com.au, it is also home to a revolutionary new diet guaranteed to help you lose weight, have more energy and start speaking with a hilarious accent.  I, know what you are thinking.  You are thinking, "Tom, to whom do I send large wads of cash so I start eating like our insanely fit neighbors to the north?"

The answer is, "No one!"  Because I plan share the secrets of the Nordic Diet right here on the internet.    Soon you too can have that "Just sat in a fishing boat all day" physique.  So grab something to write with and prepare yourself for the revolution:

Eat Less Red Meat and More Fish.  Let's be honest.  I have never heard anyone outside the Red Meat industry actually endorse eating red meat.  In fact, most publications would have us believe that if our options were direct exposure to nuclear fallout or eat a hamburger once a month, it would be infinitely better for us to glow in the dark.

Eat Whole Grains.  No longer should you eat partial grains.  If you are not sure which foods contain whole or partial grains here is an easy test: Is my food soft AND delicious, then it is made up of partial grains.  If it appears as though it would be soft and delicious but is actually neither, it is probably a whole grain.  Example: A donut is both soft and delicious.  It is a partial grain.  A Twinkie is a partial grain.  By contrast a Rice Cake is neither soft, nor delicious.  Whole grain.

Snack on Red and Purple Berries.  This actually surprised me.  I always thought the healthy food test was "If my dog won't eat it when it falls on the floor, it must healthy."  I have dropped blueberries, blackberries, and all sorts of other berries on the floor and Matilda usually reacts as though I am trying to poison her, regardless of the color.  For the record I am not familiar with the purple berry family but I doubt Matilda would touch them.

Eat more root veggies.  I can see no argument against this.  It is similar to saying when driving a car, pay attention to traffic, or if mowing the lawn do not put your hand under the lawn mower and if you are going to taunt a lion you are a moron.  I feel like this did not need its own line item but okay got it, vegitable are good.

And finally, use oils low in saturated fat: This can be a very confusing subject.  In the 80's, it was determined by "top men" fat of any kind was bad.  So along came catchy alternatives such as "I cannot believe it is not butter until I taste it and realize is the same favor as paper glue."  Then at some point someone decided butter substitute was BAD so back to butter because it was less bad.  Then out with the butter again in favor of vegetable oils.  Wait!  Are you cooking those at too high a temperature?  That is BAD!  Then the butter tried to sneak back on the scene but was overwhelmed by specialty oils formerly believed to be good only for slathering on your body in th NO!  Don't do that!  You might get skin cancer!

There you have it!  Why did we not think of this North America?!  This is THE latest formula for getting fit.  Until next week when we will have the South Central African diet, the Iowa Pork diet and my personal favorite the Lunar Orbit Diet.  Or if you are not willing to wait that long check out www.canyonptandf.com and talk to our Registered Dietitian Katie Kissane and get ahead of the game!

Get Out Your Pumps and Pump Some Iron

A few years back a very clever group of people (I assume old men) convinced another group of perhaps not so clever people (young, attractive women) that pole dancing was not just a way for old men to pay young women to do highly inappropriate things with a brass pole while in various states of undress.  The women, not the pole.  The poles remained fully clothed.   "Oh no!" They insisted, "Pole Dancing is perfectly appropriate in a family setting and is the absolute BEST way to make your butt firm and your legs look amazing."

Women who would not normally do anything more risque than wear a v-neck sweater were suddenly hanging upside down with their legs wrapped around a pole the very health-conscious men in their lives installed in the basement, livingroom, fitness studio with large windows opening up to a major state highway or other appropriate location.  From this position these women would be performing moves normally reserved for, well, strippers.

As the Pole Dancing Fitness craze starts to die down we have to ask ourselves, "What did we learn from this trend?"  The answer is, of course, some women will do anything if they think it will positively affect their butts and legs.  Let's say I have a muscular person stand next to a public toilet last cleaned during the Bush administration.  I then announce she is a "FITNESS EXPERT AS SEEN ON TV."  This fitness expert starts jumping up and down and announces, with unbridled enthusiasm, the newest way to tighten your butt and have perfect legs: "TOILET BOWL SCRUBBING!!"  I would show image after image of incredibly fit women scrubbing toilets with high energy music blasting in the background.  Their butts and legs would, of course look amazing!  You KNOW the world would suddenly have cleaner bathrooms!

Now before I start getting angry messages from all the smart, beautiful women reading this, I will point out I was exaggerating to make a point.  But according to a recent article in the highly respected publication "My Daily," I am not that far off.  I have never, not once, heard a woman say anything positive about high heeled shoes other than "Oh those are SO CUTE!"  I have never heard the phrase, "Well I forgot my workout shoes, so I will just wear my pumps today."  And yet according to the article, "The stiletto is the latest American fitness craze."

How is that possible, you ask?  High heeled shoes are an evil invention designed for the sole purpose of torturing women, you thought?  Well guess what?  According to this article and Personal Trainer (FITNESS EXPERT) Nikki Manashe, doing lunges and squats and sit-ups in high heeled shoes will, you guessed it! tighten your bottom, and tone up your thighs!  I assume this craze will last until a different fitness expert announces it is almost impossible to have a firm butt and awesome looking legs if you have two broken ankles.

For more fun and actually effective fitness programs visit www.canyonptandf.com Afterall there is a reason we have a reputation for having the cleanest public bathrooms in Colorado!

5 Must Do Steps to Becoming a Meathead

The blog is back!  I am going to take a little break from exploring the pros and cons of various fitness technology and how it affects normal people and focus more on things I find entertaining and somewhat less informative.  Today we will begin with one of my personal favorites:

I am often asked, "Tom, how do I go about alienating all of my friends, turning simple social gatherings into miserably awkward events, and appear as though I might tip over in a light breeze?"

"That's easy," I reply, "You must simply follow the 5 must do steps to becoming a Meathead."

Step 1: Purchase several tank tops with clever slogans.  Here are some actual examples: "I flexed and the sleeves fell off," Exercise until the body obeys," or simply "BEAST MODE!!"  Note the double exclamation point to demonstrate how serious you are about this particular MODE!!  You should wear one of these everywhere you go including but not limited to: the grocery store, your child's school functions, professional sporting events or church.  Step 1 clearly establishes how serious you are about fitness.

Step 2: Purchase $1000's worth of nutritional supplements.  In keeping with our theme, the supplements should have clever names such as, and I swear I am not making these up: Hot-Rox Extreme, Fahrenheit: The metabolism break-through for women, and BrainCandy.  These should be consumed only while in an appropriate public setting such as at a restaurant, coffee shop, or dinner party.  I should note there are many very useful nutritional supplements with very boring names.  Under no circumstances should you purchase or consume any of those.

Step 3: Pick out an impressive sounding gym franchise and use the name in a sentence 10 - 20 times per day.  Let me be clear.  Although you CAN join a gym, it is certainly not required.  What is important is talking about it loudly and often!  "Well I better get over to DEATH GRIP GLUTE FACTORY for my awesome abs and bis workout."

Or, "I just spent 5 hours shredding my shoulders at DEATH GRIP GLUTE FACTORY."  People will immediately respect you for your serious approach to your personal fitness.

Step 4: Discuss every meal you have ever had and how it affected your workouts.  People, especially those trying to lose weight, love to hear about your eating habits.  Try this simple formula to impress even the novice exerciser, "I just ate 6 pounds of (insert favorite dead animal), 8 bowls of cheese covered (favorite pasta) and an entire (Fruit) pie.  I LOVE THE BULKING PHASE!"  Keep in mind every phase is a bulking phase so it really does not matter what you are doing at the gym (assuming you actually step foot in one) so do not worry about specific details.

Step 5: Walk as though a large man with an extensive criminal history has inserted a pole approximately the size of a field artillery unit into your butt.  Man or woman, the walk completes the picture.  You must demonstrate to the world your massive legs and arms make it virtually impossible to move like a human.  They are, infact, so massive just moving them around is a workout.  If you move too quickly you are in danger of assaulting innocent bystanders so each movement must be a very stiff, very deliberate act.

And there you have it!  You are now officially a meathead.  You too will be one of the elite who talks about fitness more than any normal person would actually workout.  Now if you will excuse me I just took  my Turbo Blast 1000 Xtreme, so I need to head on over to The MASSIVE CALF FACTORY and shred my obliques!

Post Gall Bladder Week 2: Use is and Lose it!

I have successfully made it two weeks without a gall bladder.  I am starting to bike and am doing quite a bit of walking.  I have been testing my ability to process food and this morning's results confirm my liver is not yet up to the task of digesting regular food.  By regular food clearly I mean food wrapped in a visibly grease- spotted bag thrust at me from a freakishly small window by someone who has the culinary skill of a 5-year-old as I cruise by hoping the semi-literate teenager on the other end of a 30 year old army surplus speaker understood when I said no cheese I actually meant NO CHEESE.  Haha just kidding!  In this particular instance as far as I can tell regular food means eggs.

So this week I took a look at Lose It!  The greatest insight I learned after countless minutes or research is I hate research.  So this week I also took on a research assistant.  Her name is Matilda.  I was able to capture her reaction the moment I gave her the good news:

Matilda reacting to the news of her new job.

Note the genuine enthusiasm.  During our research time Matilda and I did learn about Lose It!  Lose It!, like most other apps, requires a log-in and password so people cannot spy on my super secret meal plan or publish my favorite foods in Cosmo.  I give the app basic information including age, height, weight, and fitness goals and it determines the amount of food I should eat.  I then use the very user friendly interface, the bar-code scanner, or the food history to log my food.  This lasts for about a meal and a half before I get distracted because almost anything in the world is more interesting than logging my food.  This in not the fault of Lose It!  Without knowing what I am eating Lose It! cannot possibly berate me for not losing weight in a timely manner. It just so happens I would rather watch my research assistant play with a half dead moth than log food.  But for those people, and I know you are out there, who live for logging food and exercise it is a very simple and effective way to do so:

My daily summary

Logging my exercise.

Logging my breakfast.

One of my main priorities is to track fat intake.  In order to do so with Lose It! I would have had to purchase the premium version.  I briefly considered doing this but there are other programs, which will remain nameless but rhyme with FryWitnessGal, which give me easy access to macro-nutrients so I chose to spend the $40 on tools to patch the area of my lawn where my research assistant was convinced lay buried the greatest archaeological find of our generation.

Within the free version of Lose It! I did not see anything that really makes it stand out from the competition. Unless you count the somewhat comical little pictures of food by the descriptions. Which I do not.  But it is as good a program as any for tracking food which I highly recommend for as long as you can possibly stand it.

Post Gall Bladder Week 1 - Using MyFitnessPal

Today marks just over 1 week since I lost my Gall Bladder.  Tuesday I finally felt good enough to eat something more creative than soda crackers and sports drinks so I renewed my quest for an almost-no-fat diet.  Right now my body has a very limited ability to process fatty foods.  For the next couple weeks I need to keep all fat intake to a minimum to let my liver adjust to losing its sidekick.  I figured I would see how practical fitness gadgets can be for a very specific health issue such as this.

This week I used what appears to be the most commonly used fitness app: MyFitnessPal.  The technology is solid and user interface is straight forward.  It can be used in a web browser or as a smart phone app.  For my purposes the smart phone app was the most practical due to my lack of mobility.  After installing the app I created an ID and a profile.  Do not worry about filling it out perfect.  I was able to go back and edit the profile after the fact.

Once I was set up it was just a matter of adding food.  I started searching for almost-no-fat food and was pleasantly surprised to find it is the first macro-nutrient listed:

I realize this is pretty much industry standard but it was still incredibly exciting for me.  It has made my quest relatively easy and quick.

To add food I can either type it in as a searchable item or scan a bar code.  I was surprised by the number of bar codes stored in the data base.  It has your standard national pre-packaged brand names, of course, but it also has  some more obscure items such as Cuties!

Although currently low on my priority list, a user can also add exercises.  Right now I can very quickly add... nothing.  But for those of you watching calorie intake it is very useful.  The MyFitnessPal Home Screen shows target calories for the day, number of calories consumed and number burnt through activity.  The more calories you burn, the higher your goal number goes!

The only thing I found I did not like was trying to add resistance training to the exercise totals.  It would be nice if there was a category for Resistance Training: Light, or Resistance Training: High Rep or something similar.  Trying to add each exercise individually was tedious and I eventually gave up.

Overall I think MyFitnessPal has a hit.  The user interface was simple to use and gave me the information I needed most.  I realize this program is primarily for recording food but I would like to see them put a little more time in to logging exercise beyond cardio.   Most of my clients do some sort of resistance training along with cardio and watching what they eat and they definitely deserve credit for it.

What do you think of MyFitnessPal?  Do you use it?  Has it helped you reach your Fitness Goal?  Comment below with any comments or questions.  Next week I will take a look at Loseit! and see how it stacks up in my quest for almost-no-fat food.

Eating right without a gall bladder: Low Fat, No Spice, High Anxiety!

As I approach 40, I have realized what most other 40+ year-olds already know: regardless of what I do, how well I eat, or how much exercise I get, my body is eventually going to betray me.  It's most recent coup comes from the digestive system.  My gall bladder has decided to create stones, eject them in to the common bile duct and cause bouts of extreme pain!  So, on Thursday, out comes the would be saboteur.

My doctor, whom I trust implicitly, has strongly suggested an ultra low-fat, no spice diet.  She claims eating these things will "anger" the gall bladder and may cause it to produce more stones or simply cause the existing stones to migrate to critical areas.  These things sound, bad.  So I have committed myself to this new form of eating until Thursday.  It has not been easy.  I work in the fitness industry.  I get it. Less saturated fat.  But NO FAT?  That means no oils, almost no beans (no humus!) no avocado, and no peanut butter!  I have had to embrace a diet of grilled or broiled poultry, fish, egg whites, rice, veggies, and fruit.  It is a next to impossible task if you want any flavor or variety in food.  

For all you fitness fanatics saying, "That is the way you should eat every day all day!"  No.  That is not actually true.  Our bodies need fatty acids for many things including utilization of fat soluble vitamins and, most obviously to me these last couple weeks, satiation!  But for the time being my gall bladder get's to win the fight even though the war will belong to me.  No fat and no spice.

I have been informed even after my surgery I will need to gradually increase my fat intake back to normal human levels.  I have been advised against visiting the local greasy spoon this weekend and pizza is a truly poor decision.  I decided this would be a great time to review three popular apps for weight management and food intake.  It SHOULD help me build variety in to my otherwise bland world. I will take a look at MyFitnessPal, Loseit!, and Fooducate. Starting Friday May 30, I will review one each week and do a head to head to head comparison on week 4. I will look at pros and cons for each app, what I find useful, what I find lacking and which one works best for the every day exerciser.

If there is anything specific you would like covered in the reviews please comment and I will take a look next week and let you know what I find.  Wish me luck!