From Football Player to Football (Soccer) Coach, Naturally.

Good news!  I am officially an assistant high school soccer coach!  Well good news until you find out the sum total of my soccer knowledge can fit into a crayon box.  And I do not mean the awesome 128 color box coveted by 2nd graders worldwide.  No, I mean the free kind you get at a mid-level family restaurant as part of the child distraction package.  Here is what I know about soccer:

• Kick the ball in to the other team's goal.
• Keep the other team from putting the ball in your goal.
• You do not want to be offsides but no-one actually knows what that means.
• The referee randomly blows the whistle, holds up his hand, and gives the ball to the player with the best hairstyle, causing the opposing coach to shout "Sir!  Sir!  What was the call Sir!" no less than 15 times.
• The clock runs the wrong way.

What I do know, is football.  American football.  The kind with predetermined commercial breaks.  And I also know these two sports have almost NOTHING in common.  But it would appear I am not the first person to actually make the transition from football to... football.  There are apparently so many people making the switch, in fact, the good folks at NBC Sports have crafted an instructional video to make the move as easy as possible.  Many of you have seen this video so you know I am not making it up.  For those of you who have not, here is the actual link:

Transition from football to football

A great example where the video clarified a finer point of the sport:  I was extremely confused when people kept yelling "Good Tackle!" during practice.  Now I know a player is not allowed (unfortunately)  to violently throw another player to the ground during a soccer game.  But CLEARLY something or someone was being tackled.  Imagine my surprise when, while watching the video, I found out a tackle is simply kicking the ball away from another player.  So the next day at practice I asked one of my players, "Wait, so a tackle is stealing the ball?"

Rolling his eyes, "Yes Coach"

"Why don't they call it a steal!?  Or a Turnover?"

"I don't know coach."

This is typically how our conversations go during practice.  I ask a seemingly intelligent question, "Who determines when and where the goalie can use his hands?" and any number of players roll their eyes and answer,

"I don't know coach."

So if you want to have a hardy laugh at my expense and see a very talented and hard working group of young men I encourage you to come out and support the Longmont High School Boys Soccer Program.  The schedule is at www.trojanathletics.org.  And please check out www.canyonptandf.com because I put a bunch of really cool photos up on our "Member Stories" page.  Go Trojans!