Get Out Your Pumps and Pump Some Iron

A few years back a very clever group of people (I assume old men) convinced another group of perhaps not so clever people (young, attractive women) that pole dancing was not just a way for old men to pay young women to do highly inappropriate things with a brass pole while in various states of undress.  The women, not the pole.  The poles remained fully clothed.   "Oh no!" They insisted, "Pole Dancing is perfectly appropriate in a family setting and is the absolute BEST way to make your butt firm and your legs look amazing."

Women who would not normally do anything more risque than wear a v-neck sweater were suddenly hanging upside down with their legs wrapped around a pole the very health-conscious men in their lives installed in the basement, livingroom, fitness studio with large windows opening up to a major state highway or other appropriate location.  From this position these women would be performing moves normally reserved for, well, strippers.

As the Pole Dancing Fitness craze starts to die down we have to ask ourselves, "What did we learn from this trend?"  The answer is, of course, some women will do anything if they think it will positively affect their butts and legs.  Let's say I have a muscular person stand next to a public toilet last cleaned during the Bush administration.  I then announce she is a "FITNESS EXPERT AS SEEN ON TV."  This fitness expert starts jumping up and down and announces, with unbridled enthusiasm, the newest way to tighten your butt and have perfect legs: "TOILET BOWL SCRUBBING!!"  I would show image after image of incredibly fit women scrubbing toilets with high energy music blasting in the background.  Their butts and legs would, of course look amazing!  You KNOW the world would suddenly have cleaner bathrooms!

Now before I start getting angry messages from all the smart, beautiful women reading this, I will point out I was exaggerating to make a point.  But according to a recent article in the highly respected publication "My Daily," I am not that far off.  I have never, not once, heard a woman say anything positive about high heeled shoes other than "Oh those are SO CUTE!"  I have never heard the phrase, "Well I forgot my workout shoes, so I will just wear my pumps today."  And yet according to the article, "The stiletto is the latest American fitness craze."

How is that possible, you ask?  High heeled shoes are an evil invention designed for the sole purpose of torturing women, you thought?  Well guess what?  According to this article and Personal Trainer (FITNESS EXPERT) Nikki Manashe, doing lunges and squats and sit-ups in high heeled shoes will, you guessed it! tighten your bottom, and tone up your thighs!  I assume this craze will last until a different fitness expert announces it is almost impossible to have a firm butt and awesome looking legs if you have two broken ankles.

For more fun and actually effective fitness programs visit www.canyonptandf.com Afterall there is a reason we have a reputation for having the cleanest public bathrooms in Colorado!