Finally! From the nutrition experts who bring you large meatballs, lingonberries, open-faced hard boiled egg sandwiches covered with, you betcha, cod roe caviar from a TUBE and crowd favorite Lutefisk, let me present the NORDIC DIET!
That's right, Scandinavia is no longer just a place from which impossible to assemble mid-range furniture comes. According to an article written by Gina Flaxman in the world renowned publication news.com.au, it is also home to a revolutionary new diet guaranteed to help you lose weight, have more energy and start speaking with a hilarious accent. I, know what you are thinking. You are thinking, "Tom, to whom do I send large wads of cash so I start eating like our insanely fit neighbors to the north?"
The answer is, "No one!" Because I plan share the secrets of the Nordic Diet right here on the internet. Soon you too can have that "Just sat in a fishing boat all day" physique. So grab something to write with and prepare yourself for the revolution:
Eat Less Red Meat and More Fish. Let's be honest. I have never heard anyone outside the Red Meat industry actually endorse eating red meat. In fact, most publications would have us believe that if our options were direct exposure to nuclear fallout or eat a hamburger once a month, it would be infinitely better for us to glow in the dark.
Eat Whole Grains. No longer should you eat partial grains. If you are not sure which foods contain whole or partial grains here is an easy test: Is my food soft AND delicious, then it is made up of partial grains. If it appears as though it would be soft and delicious but is actually neither, it is probably a whole grain. Example: A donut is both soft and delicious. It is a partial grain. A Twinkie is a partial grain. By contrast a Rice Cake is neither soft, nor delicious. Whole grain.
Snack on Red and Purple Berries. This actually surprised me. I always thought the healthy food test was "If my dog won't eat it when it falls on the floor, it must healthy." I have dropped blueberries, blackberries, and all sorts of other berries on the floor and Matilda usually reacts as though I am trying to poison her, regardless of the color. For the record I am not familiar with the purple berry family but I doubt Matilda would touch them.
Eat more root veggies. I can see no argument against this. It is similar to saying when driving a car, pay attention to traffic, or if mowing the lawn do not put your hand under the lawn mower and if you are going to taunt a lion you are a moron. I feel like this did not need its own line item but okay got it, vegitable are good.
And finally, use oils low in saturated fat: This can be a very confusing subject. In the 80's, it was determined by "top men" fat of any kind was bad. So along came catchy alternatives such as "I cannot believe it is not butter until I taste it and realize is the same favor as paper glue." Then at some point someone decided butter substitute was BAD so back to butter because it was less bad. Then out with the butter again in favor of vegetable oils. Wait! Are you cooking those at too high a temperature? That is BAD! Then the butter tried to sneak back on the scene but was overwhelmed by specialty oils formerly believed to be good only for slathering on your body in th NO! Don't do that! You might get skin cancer!
There you have it! Why did we not think of this North America?! This is THE latest formula for getting fit. Until next week when we will have the South Central African diet, the Iowa Pork diet and my personal favorite the Lunar Orbit Diet. Or if you are not willing to wait that long check out www.canyonptandf.com and talk to our Registered Dietitian Katie Kissane and get ahead of the game!
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