Domestic Violence in the NFL and Other Sports: Who's Fault is it Really, and What Can We Do to Prevent It?

As a newly appointed boys soccer coach, I feel a responsibility to take a day to discuss a very serious issue.  Recently it seems we cannot go a week without hearing about a high-profile athlete committing an act of domestic violence.  Although the attention is centered around the NFL, it should not be forgotten Oscar Pistorius, an Olympic Runner, has also been found guilty of killing his girlfriend.  It seems a lot of blame has been laid upon the National Football League, but as we can see, this problem transcends sports.  So who do we blame, and more importantly, how do we put a stop to it?

I think there is only one person to blame, and that is the athlete himself.  It might be in the best interest of the various sports leagues to have a domestic violence awareness program or to have very harsh penalties for domestic violence, but it is up to the individual to know right from wrong.  It is up to the athlete to know he cannot, under any circumstance, hit a woman or child.  It is called personal responsibility. Athletes need to stop blaming society, or violent tendencies encouraged by a sport or parents or whoever happens to be a convenient target.  They need to step up and say, "I am an adult with an adult job and adult responsibilities and I am going to conduct myself as such."  

Now the more important question, in my opinion, is how do we stop this trend of athletes committing acts of domestic violence?  Ultimately, unfortunately, we can probably never put a complete stop to it.  Even in the most honorable professions there are always a few bad actors who slip through.  However, I think coaches have a golden opportunity to prevent it from becoming worse and even reduce the number of incidents for future generations by holding athletes accountable for their actions at an early age and impressing upon them domestic violence is unacceptable under any circumstance.

I have seen great coaches do dumb things in the name of "giving a kid a second chance" or to"avoid ruining his career."  If a boy commits a petty crime or breaks the rules he must be punished appropriately.  If a coach makes the problem "go away" all he is telling this boy is that as long as he performs on the playing field someone will clean up his messes.  Today it is underage drinking or vandalizing a neighbor's house, tomorrow it is burglary, and so on.  As he moves up the ranks in his sport the crimes get more severe and still nothing happens outside a slap on the wrist.  Coaches must stop protecting these boys and do for them what is in their best interest long term: hold them accountable for their actions today so they hold themselves accountable tomorrow.

For many boys their coach is the only positive male role model in their lives.  And even if there are other role models, athletes are conditioned to listen to their coach's message, often times even if they conflict with messages at home.  Coaches need to use this power to send the right message.  I have already taken time during practice to explain the dangers and sheer stupidity of an athlete using drugs or alcohol.  I used one of my most powerful tools: I told the boys the quickest way to lose my respect is to use drugs or alcohol, and there is no place for someone like that on my team.  You should have sat in on that meeting.  I had their complete and undivided attention.  Might one of those kids still screw up?  Yep, he might.  But the expectation and the consequences have been made clear.  Domestic violence is next on the agenda.

I cannot ever foresee a day when we end domestic violence in the sporting world or anywhere else, for that matter.  Some people just do bad things.  But that should not keep us from trying.  Coaches need to use their influence and act early to impress upon boys there are consequences for actions and domestic violence is totally unacceptable. Today's responsible boys build tomorrow's great men. 

Tom Dueber is the owner of Canyon Personal Training and Fitness, a boys soccer coach at Longmont High School, Longmont, Colorado, and an expert at making fitness fun, which it will be again next week, we promise!

The Super Secret Secrets to Losing Weight

That's right ladies and gentlemen, I am willing to risk being taken out to a field and beaten by groups of rogue dieticians and scientists to give you the secret formula to six-pack abs.  Why, might you ask would I do this?  Well, unlike all the other health and wellness professionals in the world who are worried only about large wads of money, I actually care about you, the individual reading my blog, who I have never met.  So are you ready?  Here goes!

The secret to losing weight is: MOVE MORE.  Look, there is no super-weight-loss food, or supplement or system.  By way of example let's look at the Ancient Romans.  To put this in historical context the Romans predate organic vegetables, personal trainers, insanely expensive workout DVD's and even Jane Fonda by a couple years.  In ancient Rome you had basically three types of people:  The mega wealthy, the soldiers, and the slaves/ gladiators.  The mega wealthy spent most of their time sitting around eating, making laws, ordering executions and generally telling other people what to do.  They, SURPRISE, tended to be overweight.

The soldiers spent most of their time running around Europe occupying villages and terrorizing the locals.  I'm not sure if you realize it but Europe is a big place!  Just walking from Rome to say, France can be a pretty good workout.  And if you have to stop a few times along the way to pillage or fight a major military conflict with swords and axes we are talking about full scale workouts! As you can see, soldiering took a tremendous amount of energy and thus these people tended to look remarkably like Russell Crowe.

The slaves and gladiators did, well,  pretty much everything else.  They looked like slightly more aggressive versions of Russell Crowe.

The point here is, historically and, believe it or not it still holds true, people who move more tend to have less body fat.  Now I am not endorsing conquering Europe as a plan for weight loss.  What I am  suggesting is, if you wish to lose weight, MOVE!  And because most Roman Centurion Commanders have gone in to retirement, this is where a personal trainer might come in handy.   He or she will give you ways to move which fit your lifestyle.  If wielding a battle axe is not your style, maybe a program to start jogging or hiking is more your speed.

For more information on getting started on a fitness program that fits you, please visit www.canyonptandf.com or email info@canyonptandf.com.  We can design a program that fits your lifestyle, goals and abilities.  Hope to see you soon and "Strength and Honor!"

Why My Dog is the World's Best Personal Trainer

There is, SURPRISE, a new fitness trend.  Honestly is seems like every time I turn around there is a new fitness trend.  One week it is workout with light weight, the next week it is heavy weight, then no weight and loud music, then no weight and no music but the room temperature must approximate hell, then heavy weight, thrown at your friend, who must catch it , throw it back, do 7 Burpies, complete a reverse back handspring, cut off an ear and recite the first 5 lines of the Communist Manifesto in Latin before again catching it, or as most people call it, CrossFit.

But this new fitness trend may be the most revolutionary idea yet.  It is guaranteed to work for people of all ages and ability levels.  It may just be the perfect form of working out.  Are you ready for this?  Are you sure?  Okay, introducing: Walking the Dog!  "Wait," you say.  "That is not new nor revolutionary!"  How wrong you are.   According to BostInno, K-9 Fit Club offers a revolutionary new class where "both you and Fido can improve your health."

Okay, so there is nothing new about exercising with a dog.  As with most "New and Exciting Fitness Trends" the only thing new is the name or the snappy television commercial.  As I was about to dismiss this "fitness trend" as more of the same it occurred to me that not only is this not a new idea, dogs are very possibly the original, and world's best, personal trainer.  Let's use my research assistant Matilda as an example.

She is a Great Motivator: From the moment she wakes up to the moment she falls asleep Matilda encourages me to work out.  She stands by the door, stares at her leash, headbuts my hands, bounces around making a sound that sounds distinctly like "Can we PLEEEEEEEEEEASE go for a run?"  and brings me ropes or balls or other objects until I either have to kill her or go exercise.   And since killing your research assistant is frowned upon in the Lower 48, exercise it is!

She Encourages Me to Eat Better: When I am eating something delicious, or by definition, unhealthy, Matilda stares daggers at me until I am overcome by guilt and give the remainder to her.  By contrast, if I am eating something healthy such as fruit, vegetables, baked meat or NOT delicious items, she is nowhere to be found and I end up eating the whole thing.

She Lives the Lifestyle: Matilda eats many small meals a day, eats essentially the same higher protein diet for every meal, exercises, well, all the time, drinks plenty of water, avoids caffeine, soda, and alcohol and takes two or three naps every day.  Although we would be, as a society, massively non-productive, if we all lived this lifestyle I suspect we would all be incredibly healthy!

She Loves Her Work: Matilda is one of the fortunate few who loves her job.  She comes to work at Canyon every day with, literally, unbridled enthusiasm.  She greets every member at the door like they were long lost friends, helps clients get through workouts, has giant ears for listening to member concerns and entertains guest dogs when they come to visit.

So if you are looking for a fun, new, fitness "trend," look no farther than Matilda at Canyon Personal Training and Fitness.  Or you can always visit her Facebook page at www.facebook.com/matilda.dueber.  And if you have a personal training story like Matilda's please share it with me here or at canyonptandf.com.  Okay gotta go!  According to the cold nose on my leg it is time for my run!